October 10 is World Mental Health Day and Blue Day 2008 and this post is to raise some awareness of a subject that is still pretty much taboo.
I was going to write about someone close to me who has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Even though we have talked about some of the things that led up to his diagnosis I have not actually asked his permission to disclose any of the details in public and i would not want to gain them a label that nobody wants… mentally ill.
Then I was going to talk about someone else close to me who went through a bout of severe depression and self harmed several times…. but again no permission
So let’s talk about me.
I have certainly had a couple of bouts of diagnosed clinical depression. Both before my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and since then. Depression is a recognised accompaniment to MS, but it is not understood whether it is a reaction to degenerating health and mobility, or part of the damage that is being done to the brain. As mine was before I ever diagnosed I am going to say the latter, but I certainly knew something wasn’t right physically decades before the depression…
My first bout of depression just kind of snuck up on me. When I realised something was wrong (and it took my sister telling me something was wrong) I was so ill I could not help myself . I am eternally grateful that she took me to the local GP and explained what was going on while I just sobbed and sobbed.
My day consisted of dragging myself out of bed to feed the children (who were small at the time)….and that was it. I didn’t have the energy to feed myself, clean the house, work….anything. I put every drop of energy I had into making sure the kids had something to eat at each meal time and were washed occassionally.
I also cried…a lot.
At the time I could not discuss my depression with anyone, I was embarrassed that I did not have control over my brain functions and I could not FORCE myself to think or feel any differently. Now I know a hell of a lot more about depression; how it is OK if you have to correct your brain chemistry with medication (just like a diabetic corrects their bloody sugar chemistry with insulin). How so many people will have a bout of depression in their lives that it can almost be called the norm to do so. How exercise is a fabulous help.
If you have any concerns about your mental health, or that of someone close to you. don’t be afraid to reach out.
Planned and executed my exit from the corporate world. Walked away with a 6 figure payment to boot.
Allison,
Terrific article
I am currently on anti-depressants but left it way too long before I went to the doctor, like a year. My friends daughter finally got me to go. What a difference it has made to my life. Doc say I may be on them for a year, but right now I don’t mind that, just hope I don’t become dependent – it’s as low dose though so hopefully that won’t happen.
Thanks again for such a thoughtful post.
Tom
Great post on an important subject, Allison.
I, too, have dealt with depression and anxiety, and along with medication, have been very fortunate to have had some excellent counsellors.
Seeking help for depression is so important. I hope anyone reading your post who thinks they may be depressed is inspired to take action to get help.
Barb
As Barb put so well this is such a great post on an important subject so thanks for sharing your thoughts Allison. There is still such a lack of understanding (and acceptance) about depression, as instanced by a radio 4 programme I listened to last week here in the UK, where numerous people rang in to talk about their experiences and how they’d faced so much prejudice. Thankfully, others also talked about great bosses who didn’t judge them and how much medication had helped (you’re spot on the way you say medication is okay to correct brain chemistry, much the same as someone who controls diabetes).
I’ve always wished there was a way for depression to be “seen” in a physical way as I feel it would significantly help to break down barriers. As I say to anyone who doesn’t understand depression, “you wouldn’t expect someone with a broken leg to jump over a fence, so why would you expect a person with depression to ‘pull themselves together’.
I know lots of people who have had varying levels of depression, including myself, and your post is just so helpful in ‘normalising’ what that means – and can only help to encourage people to seek help.
All the best