If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong. Charles Kettering

To make any change in life the circumstances, motivation, environment and need all have to be aligned to ensure that there is any chance of that change sticking.

Look at how the internet sales people feed on the fact that most people will NOT carry through with anything they start. They know that humans have good intentions but awful follow through. They make a fortune selling good advice to people that will nod and say “Yes I know this to be true, I will do this!’” and a few weeks later are back saying ” I will finish it when XYZ is right”.

Is the internet sales person wrong to take advantage of that? Is the person who continually starts these programs, but fails to carry through, at fault?

If you have read my “about me” you will see I was gifted with the best thing to make a change, the circumstances where I had to change. For most people in day to day life this just does not happen spontaneously. As no one sets out to fail, how do you ensure that you have the best chance in succeeding in what you want to change.

1. Know Yourself

You are the only person that hears your inner dialogue, the little voice that is mostly negative and is trying to save you from humiliation, embarrassment or physical harm. That little voice is a left over from our distant past where we weren’t sure whether it was safe when the sun went down, and would caution us to look around before going into dark places. Being from the left half of your brain the inner dialogue bases all of its information on what it sees as factual information. Lists, numbers, processes, procedures etc. It has no concept of creativity or self-improvement, it only wants self preservation. In short the inner dialogue is Status Quo Central.

Now I am not saying that the inner voice can be completely ignored. I believe the inner voice should be treated like all other avenues of information. Listen politely, digest the facts, take what you like and leave the rest. Remember the inner voice is only working with one half of your brain and only wants what it sees as best for you and so some of the caution it advises is common sense.

2. Make Consequences for Failure

I am one of those infuriatingly positive people that can make lemonade out of any lemon. But when it comes to change, FAILURE IS FAILURE. Don’t be easy on yourself with this one, storing the memory in a back cupboard of your mind is just not good enough. Do you think personal trainers tell you “oh it is alright you put on weight this month”? No they scream blue bloody murder and make you aware that you have failed by working you 3 times as hard.

Create consequences for your failing. Even better get someone else involved to ensure that those consequences are followed through (because if you are like me you just know that you will talk yourself out of performing the consequences). Have them remove something you enjoy or need, make it tangible and painful. Make it so big you can not even contemplate the loss. How about losing your car, your savings, your internet access forever. A permanent loss is more terrifying than for a period of time. Ensure that the person taking the thing is not a close friend who will crack under your tears. If you are absolutely sure you will be punished for failure you have a better chance of changing.

3. Reward Yourself for Success

An oldie but a goody. Rewards must be in proportion to the success and start sufficiently far down the track that significant change has already taken place before they kick in. The process of change itself will need to be the reward in the beginning.

The sad thing here is that more that 80% of people reading this will be nodding their heads and agreeing, yet will go away and slip back into the comfortable habitual existence that they are used to.

Are you going to be one of the few that do change?

If you have to change – you have a good chance at changing

If you want to change – you need to make it as if you have to change